Scene+2

December 1 first draft

Christopher was really looking forward to see his girlfriend Rose. He was walking to her house and was very puzzled when he found the door a little open. He opened it, and found her lying on the couch full of blood and burn marks. “Livingston… he was here,” panted Rose before she dropped dead. There were drops of sweat and tears falling out of Christopher’s body, he could not believe it. He kneeled down on the floor and hugged her, and promised her he would get revenge. The maid appeared. “I was lucky enough to hide, I’m so sorry. He tried to seduce Rose, but couldn’t, then he killed her with some kind of lasers.” Christopher’s face was bursting red, hoping to get revenge at his brother for what he had done… Gabriel M.

Christopher, the slim, blonde, and most handsome young man in town arrived at the house of his beautiful girlfriend. Rose, his girlfriend, was one of the most acclaimed damsels because of her beauty. They were described as the perfect couple and it was rumored that they were soon going to get engaged. They were ideal for each other. Christopher and Rose were known by every wealthy person in miles and their prestigious lives were envied by everyone. Christopher was dressed especially well, with his favorite white shirt and his tailor-made frock coat, on Monday evening for his date with Rose to the town gardens. He had planned the whole day and prepared a wonderful picnic. Christopher’s boots were impeccable and his pants where ironed that very day. (Irene, Draft #1)

Christopher, the slim, blonde, and most handsome young man in town arrived at the house of his beautiful girlfriend. Rose, his girlfriend, was one of the most acclaimed damsels because of her beauty. They were described as the perfect couple and it was rumored that they were soon going to get engaged. They were ideal for each other. Christopher and Rose were known by every wealthy person in miles and their prestigious lives were envied by everyone. Christopher was dressed especially well, with his favorite white shirt and his tailor-made frock coat, on Monday evening for his date with Rose to the town gardens. He had planned the whole day and prepared a wonderful picnic. Christopher’s boots were impeccable and his pants where ironed that very day. He got ready to go to the market and buy some lilies, Rose’s favorite type of flowers. Christopher refused to take a carriage because he wanted to look at the beautiful town, like he always did. He stepped outside and strolled near the brown and reddish houses, looking at his feet while they stepped on the brick-paved street. Most of the carriages around him were white, pulled by majestic, great, brown horses. On his way, he met Mr. Bennet, the horse salesman who sold him one of his favorite horses, Actaeon. “Well good morning to you, young fellow!” Mr. Bennet said gently. “I hope Actaeon is suiting you well.” “Good morning, Mr. Bennet. Thanks for asking, he is, in fact, one of the best horses I have purchased” “Great to know. The best trading I have done this month.” “Nice to see you. I must go on. Farewell.” Christopher continued trudging along until he got to Rose’s immense, brick house. (Irene, Draft #2)

Christopher, the slim, blonde, and most handsome young man in town arrived at the house of his beautiful girlfriend. Rose, his girlfriend, was one of the most acclaimed damsels because of her beauty. They were described as the perfect couple and it was rumored that they were soon going to get engaged. They were ideal for each other. Christopher and Rose were known by every wealthy person in miles and their prestigious lives were envied by everyone. Christopher was dressed especially well, with his favorite white shirt and his tailor-made frock coat, on Monday evening for his date with Rose to the town gardens. He had planned the whole day and prepared a wonderful picnic. His boots were impeccable and his pants where ironed that very day.

<span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Christopher got ready to go to the market and buy some lilies, Rose’s favorite type of flowers. Christopher refused to take a carriage because he wanted to look at the beautiful town, like he always did. He stepped outside and strolled near the brown and reddish houses, looking at his feet while they stepped on the brick-paved street. Most of the carriages around him were white, pulled by majestic, great, brown horses. On his way, he met Mr. Bennet, the horse salesman who vended him one of his favorite horses, Actaeon. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">“Well good morning to you, young fellow!” Mr. Bennet said gently. “I hope Actaeon is suiting you well.” <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">“Good morning, Mr. Bennet. Thanks for asking, he is, in fact, one of the best horses I have purchased. The other day he took the carriage four hours straight.” <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">“Great to know. The best trading I have done this month.” <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">“Nice to see you. I must go on. Farewell.” <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Christopher strolled along the green pastures with the pointed-roof houses. He admired the architecture of his neighborhood, it was always fascinating to observe. Christopher continued trudging until he got to Rose’s immense, brick house. (Irene, Draft #3)

(Irene, Draft #4) Christopher heard screaming inside Rose’s house. He dropped the white lilies in his hand and hurried inside to find her, barely alive, gasping for air. Rose had burn marks all over her body. The torn pieces of her dress laid around her, and the carpet has splashes of blood. “Who did this to you?” Christopher asked while raising his voice. “Li, Li, Livingston,” Rose whispered, right before closing her eyes. Christopher heard footsteps near the corridor. He jumped to his feet and ran where he heard the noise. It was Rose’s maid. As soon as he patted her shoulder, she jumped, scared, and gasped. “It’s you, Mr. Christopher!” she exclaimed, still recovering from the scare. “Mrs. Abigail, what happened?” “It, it was Livingston, he was here and he tried to hurt Ms. Rose.” Christopher reminded himself of his sinful twin brother, Livingston. He recently had done mischievous things without a reason. Livingston had had a great emotional impact after their mother died and he had had a sudden change of attitude and feelings. Christopher wanted to help his brother recover in some way but after this incident, he only had sudden thoughts about revenge for killing his fiancé. Christopher needed to have time to think so he walked to the funeral home, arranged a funeral for Rose, and walked back home, while taking the long way.

<span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Nov. 30 3010 <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Eleonora ten Brink <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Draft 1 <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Christopher was eager to see Rose again, he had bought potatoes and margarine to make her favorite dish; potatoes baked with fresh rosemary from her garden. He fumbled with the groceries, struggling to get a grip on the slippery brown paper bags. Finally he gave up and set them on the ground. He walked up the porch, and noticed the door was ajar. ‘How strange’ he thought. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">‘Rose?’ Christopher called. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">He gingerly stepped in and called again for Rose. No answer. The whole house was calm and cold in a chilling way. There was no one in the vestibule. The he noticed Tot, Rose’s cat, perched on a chair trembling. This was //very// strange, as Tot was a sweet perky cat. As he aproached Tot, the cat let out a long pained wail. Christopher picked the cat up and walked into the living room soothing Tot in his arms. Then he stopped in shock. There lay Rose, immobile on the ground. She was in an awkward position, her clothes torn and charred. Christopher was standing there staring, barely noticing as Tot jumped from his arms and kneaded and purred at her master’s feet.

<span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Dec. 1 3010 <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Eleonora ten Brink <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Draft 2 <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Christopher was very eager to see Rose again, he had bought potatoes and margarine to make her favorite dish; potatoes baked with fresh rosemary from her garden. He fumbled with the groceries, struggling to get a grip on the slippery brown paper bags. Finally he gave up and set them on the ground. He walked up the porch, and noticed the door was ajar. ‘How strange’ he thought. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">‘Rose?’ Christopher called. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">He gingerly stepped in and called again for Rose. No answer. The whole house was calm and cold in a chilling way. There was no one in the vestibule. The he noticed Pwinki, Rose’s cat, perched on a chair, trembling. This was //very// strange, as Pwinki was a sweet perky cat. As he approached Pwinki, the cat let out a long pained wail. Christopher picked the cat up and walked into the living room soothing him in his arms. Then he stopped in shock. There lay Rose, immobile on the ground. She was in an awkward position, her clothes torn and charred. Christopher was standing there staring, barely noticing as the cat jumped from his arms and kneaded and purred at her master’s feet. Rose was still breathing, but so shallowly and scarcely… she was agonizing. Christopher ran towards her and took her hand. Rose let a faint whisper escape her lips <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">‘Livingston… he… was here…’ <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Then she sighed her last breath and her beautiful blue eyes closed for the last time. Christopher doubled over as if he had been stabbed and started sobbing over her still body. Pwinki curled up next to him and Christpher sobbed into his soft neck fur. Suddenly, a noise was heard and Rose’s maid apeared in the doorway. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">‘Oh master Christopher… it was your brother Livingston.. He killed Miss Rose!!! He tried to seduce her but she was very adamant that she already had a boyfriend… then he took out thse huger laser guns and threatened her to kill her, unless she conceded. She didn’t and this is what happened… Oh she was so good and sweet why!!! Why!!! I only had time to hide in the cupboard so as to save myself, or I would surely have been killed.’

<span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Nov. 30 <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Maite Joaristi <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Draft 1

<span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">He slowly came to realize rose was in trouble, in a very deep trouble, one she may not recover from. Still shocked his eyes began to form tears but he was determined to find out if she still had a chance to survive. In a thrifty manner he kneeled next to his love, he checked the vital signs she was not breathing but her heart was beating weakly. Frantically he shook her not knowing what to do. Slowly Rose's eyelids began to open and close swiftly, she was barely alive. And her last words " Livingston, Livingston..." Christopher screamed in terror and pain and a feeling of deep hate for his brother. He placed his gentle hand on her heart just to feel the last heart beat of his loved one. Disturbing his awful thoughts Rose's maid came out of the storage closet with trembling legs and pale face. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">" Livingston was here, he was trying to seduce Ms.Rose unsuccessful because my master was loyal to you he turned in rage and killed her with his his... lasers," Marie mumbled trembling. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">" Please call an ambulance, please excuse me but I have to leave," Christopher said in a quirky voice trying to sound brave. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Christopher walked in grief, pain and madness with many questions crossing his mind, this is not the ending he thought as he continued to walk thinking of his demon possessed brother.

<span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Dec. 2 <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Maite Joaristi <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Draft 2

<span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">He slowly came to realize rose was in trouble, in a very deep trouble, one she may not recover from. Still shocked his eyes began to form tears but he was determined to find out if she still had a chance to survive. In a thrifty manner he kneeled next to his love, he checked the vital signs she was not breathing but her heart was beating weakly. Frantically he shook her not knowing what to do. Slowly Rose's eyelids began to open and close swiftly, she was barely alive. And her last words " Livingston, Livingston..." Christopher screamed in terror and pain and a feeling of deep hate for his brother. He placed his gentle hand on her heart just to feel the last heart beat of his loved one. Disturbing his awful thoughts Rose's maid came out of the storage closet with trembling legs and pale face. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">" Livingston was here, he was trying to seduce Ms.Rose unsuccessful because my master was loyal to you he turned in rage and killed her with his his... lasers," Marie mumbled trembling. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">" Please call an ambulance, please excuse me but I have to leave," Christopher said in a quirky voice trying to sound brave. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Christopher walked in grief, pain and madness with many questions crossing his mind, this is not the ending he thought as he continued to walk thinking of his demon possessed brother. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Christopher didn’t know where to go or what to do, in that moment he looked at the sky and thought of his kind friend, Father Mckinley. He walked slowly and carefully as if the ground was made of fragile glass.

<span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Dec 4 <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Maite Joaristi <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Draft 3

<span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">He tardily came to realize Rose was in trouble, in a very deep trouble, one she would not recover from. Still shocked his eyes began to form tears but he was determined to find out if she still had a chance to survive. In a thrifty manner he kneeled next to his true love, he checked the vital signs, she was not breathing but her heart was beating weakly. Frantically he shook her not knowing what to do. Slowly, Rose's eyelids began to open and close swiftly, she was barely alive. And her last words " Livingston, Livingston..." Christopher screamed in terror and pain as the true feeling of hate dominated his whole soul. He placed his gentle hand on her heart just to feel the last heart beat of his loved one. Disturbing his awful thoughts Rose's maid came out of the storage closet with trembling legs and pale face. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">" Livingston was here, he was trying to seduce Ms.Rose but because she wasn’t cooperating he changed his plan and killed her with his his... lasers," Marie mumbled trembling. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">" Please call an ambulance, excuse me but I have to leave," Christopher said in a quirky voice trying to sound brave but not succeeding. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">His heart was broken once more after his mother’s death. Christopher walked in grief, pain and madness with many questions crossing his mind, this is not the ending he thought as he continued to walk thinking of his demon possessed brother. <span style="font: 12px/19px Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Christopher didn’t know where to go or what to do, in that moment he looked at the sky and thought of his kind friend, Father Mckinley. He walked slowly and carefully as if the ground was made of fragile glass.

<span style="font-family: Verdana,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Dec.7 <span style="font-family: Verdana,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Maite Joaristi <span style="font-family: Verdana,helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Draft 4

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px;">He tardily came to realize Rose was in trouble, in a very deep trouble, one she would not recover from. Still shocked his eyes began to form tears but he was determined to find out if she still had a chance to survive. In a thrifty manner he kneeled next to his true love, he checked the vital signs, she was not breathing but her heart was beating weakly. Frantically he shook her not knowing what to do he was desperate and nervous. Slowly, Rose's eyelids began to open and close swiftly, she was barely alive. And her last words " Livingston, Livingston..." Christopher screamed in terror and pain as the true feeling of hate dominated his whole soul. He placed his gentle hand on her heart just to feel the last heart beat of Rose. Christopher was in a state of shock, part of him was defeated and frantic of what had just happened, the other part of him thought nothing of that was really happening. Interrupting his thought Rose’s maid Marie walked out of the storage closet with a pale face and trembling body. <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px;">" Livingston was here, he killed her with his his... lasers I’m deeply sorry I wasn’t capable of stopping him," Marie mumbled trembling. <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px;">Christopher did not know what he was doing but he reached for her and hugged her as if she was his mother. He thought of when he was little, when he and Livingston curled up against their mother when they were scared. Marie didn’t move because she too needed comfort. Christopher took a step back needing to come back to reality and help Rose <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px;">“ Doctor theirs an emergency at Charles Street, the Victorian house with a big garden fast,” he pleaded as he tried to shake Rose awake. <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px;">Rose’s body was now cold like stone. Her face was peaceful despite the laser burnings on her whole body. She had dry tears on her face and her lips were now dry too. When the doctor got there he was asked to leave the room. Christopher couldn't stop walking form side to side of the hallway because he was so nervous of what the doctor would say. Dr. Brown came out of the room with a deep frown on his face. <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px;">“ I’m sorry their is nothing anyone can do now the laser burns are too bad and it seems as she was beat up to, I am truly sorry,” he said. <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px;">He couldn't believe what just happened. Christopher walked in grief, pain and madness with many questions crossing his mind, this is not the ending he thought as he continued to walk thinking of his demon possessed brother. <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Verdana; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Christopher didn’t know where to go or what to do, in that moment he looked at the sky and thought of his kind friend, Father Mckinley. He walked slowly and carefully as if the ground was made of fragile glass.

<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font: 10pt/19px 'Tahoma','sans-serif'; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Gabriel M. second draft

<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin-bottom: 16.2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; text-indent: 36pt;">Christopher was walking down the street, in a cold and snowy winter day, looking forward to having dinner with his beautiful fiancé Rose. They were very joyful together and couldn’t stop thinking about each other. On his way, Christopher stopped by a store to buy some flowers for her. After a while, he approached a small pink house, which’s roof was filled with snow. Very excited, Christopher went up the stairs, and found himself very puzzled when the door was slightly open. He held up his frozen finger and rang the door bell. After a couple times of ringing it and no one answered, he decided to go in.He found Rose, lying on the couch with her face pale, and burn marks all over her body. Drops of sweat and tears were coming out of Christopher’s body. He dropped the flowers, kneeled down and prayed, hoping that she was still alive. <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin-bottom: 16.2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;"> “Livingston… he was here,” Rose gasped before she dropped dead. <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin-bottom: 16.2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">The desperate man just hugged her and promised her he would get revenge on his brother for what he had done. <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin-bottom: 16.2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">The maid, who had hidden in the storage room appeared, and hugged them both. She knew and loved Rose, just as Christopher did. <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin-bottom: 16.2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">“ I was lucky enough to hide, I’m so sorry. Your brother came in shouting, looking for you, but you weren’t here. Then he stabbed Mrs. Rose with some lasers.” <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Tahoma,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin-bottom: 16.2pt; margin-left: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm;">Christopher was torn to pieces, he could not believe. Even though it wasn’t his fault, he felt guilt about not being there for Rose. He was desperate and didn’t know what to do. He didn't know if to love or hate his brother.